tiong bahru bakery... tiong wasted..

so.. i have heard about this tiong bahru bakery for ages.. the "best bakery in singapore" is what my time out magazine told me. it was also voted the" best almond croissant in singapore".  which.. if you know me at all.. are the magic words.. i loves me an almond croissant. (yes. i know they are not vegan.  but we all cheat sometimes.  well,  i do)  they were my anchor, my rock and my rebellion when i lived in hong kong.  every morning i would have to trudge from the lovely cosmopolitan section of soho over to the wilds of kowloon, choi wan station. which would take about an hour.  so every morning, id stop at my lovely pret manger and grab a lovely freshly baked almond croissant and a green tea.. and yes...break all the rules possible and sit and eat it on the hour long mtr (not mrt) ride. ahhh...never fined.. but attracted lots of dirty looks.. so worth it..

so.. tiong bahru.. is coincidentally where my yoga studio is.  the absolute best studio i have found in singapore. i started at hom yoga.. but me and singaporean teachers don't really mesh.. something about their defiant blinding absolutism... basically they were fackin rude and yelled at you if you didn't follow their specific examples.  i am not singaporean.. and have a rather independent mind of my own.. so i need... well i need a nice teacher.  i also tried bikram.. but that carpet crap on the floor.. some indoor/outdoor thing.. is just, in my opinion.. gross.  imagine the amount of sweat that gets dripped on that every day.. ugh.... so its absolute yoga for me.. lovely hardwood floors.. two clean towels.. large showers.. lovely international teachers... ahhh...

after a particularly long 90 minute hot yoga class, i decided to use my trusty iphone map and find this damn famous bakery.  i walked down from tiong bahru mrt (not mtr). it actually took about 20 mins.  i was surprised.. and tired and thirsty.  its in this tiny tiong bahru village old fashioned singaporean street place... with lots of hawker stands and old fashioned chinese markets.. not really the upscale area i was led to believe of the 'best in singapore'.  i finally found it.. and it is quite lovely.. and damn busy.  every seat in the place (small place) was taken.  i was thinking i'd sit and have a cup of tea or cappuccino and try the croissant.. but no. not today.  i was the only 'ang mo' (white person) in sight.  and everyone was sat around in large groups talking really loudly together. see.. there is a bit of a culture gap in the idea of cafe.  i think for singapore.. it means something more like restaurant.. where people go to meet friends and talk loudly.  for me.. it usually means a nice quiet place to sip tea, read, chat with a friend or two.. and just find a moment of peace.

there was a great selection of bread and baked goods, cupcakes, tarts.. and croissants.  huge croissants. i ordered one almond. it was the size of 3 regular ones and heavy!  huh.  it had a great crunchy edge to it... you know when you cook sugar and it crystallizes creating like a candy apple edge?  yeah.. that was on the bottom.  but damn! was it doughy!  so heavy. good yes.. but huh.  i think there is a disconnect between our cultures. i know this is supposed to be a french pastry type bakery.. but no french baker i know would ever sell something so.. doughy.... croissants are supposed to be light, airy, crispy and soft and melt in your mouth.  although this was good..don't get me wrong.. i didn't have to eat for the next two days (didn't have to...... doesn't mean i didn't) but i was soo full from just one croissant.. i almost didn't finish it.. huh what?

so.. huh.. apparently they are opening a new branch in raffles place (city hall mrt).. so cool?  or not...well.. in my opinion ..let's see... shit seating... shit walking for 20 minutes to find the damn place.. shit heaviness... too heavy it made me feel guilty for eating it all.. which is shit... especially after an awesome yoga class... so huh. but sweet and crunchy apple candy bottom.. nice.. and damn famous.....well let's just say, once is enough.  i don't know?  try one yourself.. maybe i'm just an elitist snob... wait.. i am... mwah..... deux etoiles..peut-etre?... je ne sais pas...chacon son gout....

Tiong Bahru Bakery
56 Eng Hoon St
Tel: 6220 3430

gastronomia... fack yeah.

i haven't been here for brunch yet.  but does it matter?  you need to get your ass in here. stat.

it is an italian/french deli type place that serves ready made food.  like freshly made pizza. and freshly made pasta.  and grilled eggplant and zucchini strips.  and croissants. and french loaves. and pasta dishes.  which all look fantastic.  and desserts to die for.  especially ESPECIALLY my two favourite things in all of the world... and now singapore.  lemon chocolate curd and toffee shortbread.  so i have a sweet tooth.  and a greasy food tooth. and a fack'n good food tooth.

my nanny (that is.. for you singaporeans... my grandmother, my father's mother, not a woman my parents hired from the philippines to do our laundry and live under our dinning room table) used to make it for dessert.  not the full lemon meringue pie.  just the lemon filling mixed with the meringue topping.  yummm....  so tart. and good. and creamy. and this place, this gastronomia genius of a place has added chocolate mouse and a chocolate gauche top.  what?  i gives a fack if its vegan.  its orgasmic. i just love it. and its packaged in single serving (well probably more like a double serving for a romantic shared dessert) and sometimes i actually can halve it and save the other half for later. yes, that has happened never.

the second favourite is toffee shortbread.. which is this delightful breadcrumb crust with soft toffee covered in a layer of chocolate.  and it is single serving about 4 bites of crazy sinful sweet heaven.  to be honest the rest of the food looks awesome, and lizzie said the scones are lovely, but i haven't tried anything else. i only have eyes for my two loves.

so.. for this lovely.... 4.5 stars.  (and that's just based on the two items. there is really no where to sit. and its kinda expensive, the lemon curd goes for about $8.50. someday i may try the other options... god knows what else could be better.  is that even possible?)  there are many locations around singapore.  i usually head to the one in holland village (across the street in bee gardens) or the one.. yes... just around the corner from my school.. like a 10 minute walk.. how did the universe plan that so well?!?.... in serangoon circle.

Gastronomia De Paulo Group
Holland Village (other locations)  43 Jalan Merah Saga
Tel: 6475 1323

artichokes rock.

you say its your birthday... its my birthday too yeah.. no really, it was my birthday. 25 again. ;) so the ladies took me for champagne brunch. yeah!  except i got a bit lost enroute and was half an hour late.  oops.

we went to the artichoke cafe and bar which is a delightful hidden gem off the busy middle road behind a chapel.  its got this cool idea (not vegan, so not the coolest, but cool) the chefs just cook whatever they feel like.  and they use fresh ingredients.  they even have a herb garden outside the kitchen where they grown their own herbs.


i ordered haloumi and mushrooms which comes with tomatoes and rocket on top of toast.. thick turkish sliced bread.... which was pretty damn good. they don't do soy milk (cause they didn't want to... its a whole milk, organic meat kinda place....) so i ordered an espresso   which was lovely. kathy ordered champagne..oh la la.... remember.. we are celebrating.. ME!!
the others did order something to eat.... it looked equally awesome in these massive fry up skillets.. but i really don't remember.  i was so absorbed with eating my awesome bread.  yup.  the bread was awesome.  and then we ordered dessert which was this awesome burnt toffee pudding, which tasted just like cool november nights in canada sitting by a fire watching the wind blow the last leaves off the trees.  seriously, it was just wow.

and also for my birthday.. i went shopping and bought myself a nice little treat.  tiffany's what?  working my life away in singapore does have a few perks....

and also for my birthday.. i got not one but 2 messages from my newest man toy.  seriously, what is wrong with me?  how can i not just find one nice one that i like and can keep and take home?!....... oohh but this one is sooo nice. i met him two weekends ago. he was in singapore on business.  and we went for dinner at clarke quay and made out by the river. so romantic.  then i went for lunch with him the next day and wandered china town, bum-boating around the town acting like the tourists that i avoid. oh heart of mine be still.   he's coming back in october.  not getting my hopes up.. but fingers and toes are crossed.  this guy.. is the bomb.  he's from california (so he's got that cool open minded thing going on..) he's tall (like 6 ft.  i am obsessed with height since living in singapore.. aka.. land of short people)  he's smart.  he's funny.  ok, he doesn't drive a ferrari .. but really does that matter?

so artichoke.... a bit heavy on the whole meat and milk loving vibe.. damn when did i become so elitist? (remember, i'm a vegan......)  but the food was good. the herb garden was cool.  and the vibe was really good. if i lived near i'd go again.  often. i have no idea how much it cost. how cool are my friends??!  let's just say.. it wasn't twenty dollar bills that kathy was laying down.. more like fifties..a few of them.... ok so.... it doesn't top boomerang.. but its damn close.

Artichoke Cafe and Bar
161 Middle Road
Tel: 6336 6949

hahaha.. their email is wassup@artichoke.com.sg.  serious.   awesome.

puttin' on the ritz.....and the eclairs

i have been in singapore for officially one year.  what? i know. times flies when you are expected to work ALL THE TIME. and the weather never changes so it all just seems to fade into one extremely long day.. now i know how janis joplin felt.... "as we discover on the train.. its all the same fucking day"... except i'm not high on drugs..constantly drunk... or in southern US in 1969.... just imagine if i was! oh now that would be a blog i'd want to read!!

so to celebrate our awesome one year of mental stagnation we spared no expense.  there was only one place to go. the ritz baby.  ritz carlton. high tea.  the stuff dreams are made of.  the ritz carlton high tea is held in the chihuly lounge that was made for no one else but me.  it is completely decorated in... wait.. gold.  gold tables, gold sofas, gold pin stripped arm chairs, gold rimmed tea service... and odd modern glass swirly curly tail like sculptures by dale chihuly  the hotel itself is up on a small hill surrounded in lush greenery, so when you leave the main road and drive up to the entrance, its like you are ensconced in this lovely little serene luxiorious oasis.

the tea itself kicks the ass off of raffles.  its a buffet style with at least 3 different stations.  and all you can eat!  first station is finger sandwiches and nibbly bits.  second station is fresh warm scones, cream, jam.. and a banana split station.. and third station is eclairs.. at least 20 varieties.. including the chocolate one covered in... yup.. gold.  and its cheaper at $45.00 per pax (each person) than raffles.   and the couches were comfortable.

so we were all there, frankie, lizzie, laura and kathy. except claire who is now in dubai.. and isabella who's been in canada for far too long.  laura is unsure what to do about her bali boy.. who seems to want to get alot more serious than she.  he asked if he could go home to canada with her when she goes in december. what? and lizzie's german is playing hard to get.. since he really lives in hong kong and was just in singapore for business.. and i've decided to give gordon another chance.

what is with me and guys that have names starting with g? this one, gordon, i met on the internet... (i know!)  he is singaporean. (which explains also the odd choice of english name... i know, gordon.. not gord or gordy.. but gordon...odd right?)... so we have a bit of a cultural gap.. well he calls it culture .. i call it him being a massive player.  i gave him the boot rather not nicely a few months ago by shouting at him and his playing ways.  he decided to 'never talk to me again'.  but well.. its a small town and its a short life.. and one thing leads to another and texts are sent and replied to.. and well... he has a ferrari.  can't blame a girl for enjoying driving around town in a ferrari. and nothing is wrong with a lovely dinner every now and again.  huh.

which is how i explained it to the girls.  yeah.  back to the eclairs.  that's right.  i did two trips to the eclair station.  i couldn't help myself. i seem to have developed a few weaknesses in singapore... namely for toffee chocolate eclairs.. and ferraris.

so yes, besides a bit of leg being shown as we tried to stand up from the very plush sofas, high tea at the ritz was a very civilized and posh affair.  oh..and our server was from switzerland   he was this tall drink of water with impeccable manners.  and a deep low voice.  and a french accent. damn cute.  if only i was drunk and high as janis now, THAT would be an event. back to the eclairs.

The Ritz Carlton Millenia Singapore
7 Raffles Avenue
Tel: 6337 8888

slice of saturday

macritchie reservoir 10:00 AM. me, lizzie, laura and kathy hit the trail.  and walked and walked and talked and walked. for 3 hours!  11 kms around the reservoir.  we even took the sky bridge detour. now that is a view.  people should build houses up in the trees again.  i would kill to live in the top of one of those massive trees surrounded by lush greenery and silence.  mmmm..

and after 3 hours of walking we were hungry. i had originally suggested starbucks, but my friends were in need of a little more sustenance then coffee and cakes after our 11 km walk...   and so we hoped into a taxi to upper thomson and out in front of crust.  crust is a pizza place.  not just any pizza place but a  gourmet pizza place.. its hard to get anything close to good pizza in asia... and this place.. was pretty damn good... especially with thin crispy crusts and vegetable pizza options.. like artichoke hearts.

i ordered vegetarian supreme which was pretty good.  kathy ordered cajun chicken.  laura ordered the brushchetta and lizzie ordered the spicy pesto scallops.  and we all ate most of it.  their pizzas are quite large,  well for one person (8 slices) but we were hungry and it was delicious.

and this time.. not much talking. we had spent all our conversation on the 3 hour long hike.  what fun!
so....if you live in the upper thomson area (there's one in holland village too)... crust delivers.  not bad.  not great.  but not bad.

Crust Gourmet Pizza Bar
Upper Thomson
215R Upper Thomson Road
Tel: 6456 1555

bananas.

ok..so not a brunch post.. but for those following along... just too hilarious of an event not to post.  as you know, my relationship with graham as been gradually fading.. but he is a nice guy, and you know, if it weren't for some serious physical and mental obstacles there could be... ok fine... no, but he is a nice guy and he's fragile having just been ripped out of his family (his words).  so i haven't had the heart to make a complete break like i probably should have.  instead i chose to gradually fade.

so... graham invited me for a late sunday lunch/early dinner at the banana leaf apolo in little india.  i am mentioning it, because the food is good.  damn good.  its mostly all vegetarian... or can be if you chose.  but... you need to be warned, the decor of the restaurant is odd.  it's a massive cafeteria style room with strangely uncomfortable wooden chairs and usually very little patrons. and don't go to the washroom.  they are attached yes.... but not in a nice way.. in a connected to the rest of the mall way... in a rather grungy mall in little india.. if you get my drift... BUT... but the service is excellent and the food, did i mention?  good.  so good.  we ordered naan (of course) some red spicy vegetable dish, paneer and lime juice.  and then no plates!  just large banana leaves which we spoon our choice of food onto and dip into it with the naan.  so hearty.

speaking of heart... or lack thereof.. so... after the meal as we are sipping our lime juice, eating our second order of naan bread... yum...naan... and i am wondering how to get out of wandering around the markets to buy me yet another packet of jasmine, graham starts to tell me that he thinks it might be time if we see another people. well it went sort of like this.

"you know how first i thought i was in love with you and i wanted to get really serious?  but then you said we should slow down?"
"yeah"
"and then you said that maybe we shouldn't move in together cause it was too fast.."
"yeah"
"and then you thought that i wasn't over my divorce and you thought i needed to sow my wild oats so we decided to see other people?"
"ok.."
"well, i did that."
"ok."
"well, actually i met a really nice girl from malaysia.. and well, she doesn't want to share me."
"oh.  ok."
"you know i want to thank you.  you have helped me so much. before i met you i was in such a dark place.  and you made me smile and you showed me that i could fall in love again."

see? it all worked out.. and no one was hurt.  yeah i didn't have to make a big break up scene.  just fade to black.   ahhhh.. but... why is there always a but?......but ..here's the key girls... if you keep silent and let a man talk long enough he will eventually tell you the REAL truth..

(a few minutes later)

"so.....have you slept with this malaysian girl yet?"
"no.  that's why i wanted to tell you first.  so i could be completely honest with her."
"oh.  that's nice."
"and now i am completely confident that it will be good.  i have you to thank for that."
"really?"
"thank you.  you taught me that; just relax and don't try so hard.  kiss the upper lip and then the bottom lip. you want to know something?"
"ok, sure."
"you know the second time we were together and you asked me if i had been practicing?"
"yeah."
"well i had.  after the first time and you taught me how to kiss, i went out and slept with 5 other women to practice what you said."
"oh."
 um......WHAT THE HELL?   who does that?

............and so if you are in the mood for fantastic indian food in an uncomfortable ambiance  then the banana leaf is for you.  and cheap!  3.5 stars.

The Banana Leaf Apolo
48 Serangoon Road
01-32 Little India Arcade
Tel: 6297 1595

like a boomerang

having pretty much exhausted my choices (and my wallet) at dempsey, i went back to google to search once again for brunch. but this time i got smart. you see i think the best place i have ever had brunch (well besides the cafes in paris... oohh i love paris)  was in australia.  serious. amazing brunch/breakfast places.  with get this - fresh vegetables and fruit served on the plate!  and vegetarian options. what are they thinking?  i know!  so there was this place i remember looking awesomely cool on the riverside near clarke quay.. i had seen it during one of my midnight romantic strolls with graham.. who am i?  i know!  you are thinking that my life sounds like a movie, am i right?  well.. um.. no.. you see, sad thing is i wish graham was half as cool as he is in my dreams.  and that he wasn't still recovering from a painful divorce (him being the one kicked out of his house and wishing he could get his wife, child and life back.)  damn.  ever notice the ones you want are hard to get and only want to use and abuse you... and the ones you get.. are the ones you don't want.. the needy, overly romantic, clingy type?  sigh...

anyways. brunch. on the river.  booyah!  or.. more to the point, boomerang. what a great place! and.. wait for it... i could order directly from the menu.. completely.. again wait.. vegan choice! i was so excited.  i know it won't seem awesome to you... but to me.. so exciting.  i ordered the avocado toast.. which essentially is two thick chunks of wheat toast with slices of avocado and grilled tomatoes on the side.  and what i did was order a side of beans and hash browns. and then i put the beans over the toast, then the avocado then the tomato.... and damn!  good!  fresh!  yum!  to add, i ordered a soy cappuccino   ok the others? they ordered equally awesome - non vegan meals - buttermilk pancakes, the 'bondi' (poached eggs and spinach on toast) and 'the ashes' (big fry up, sausage, bacon, eggs, toast...yada, yada)....AND ... all the meals were served at the same time.  after AFTER the drinks.  i actually had time to chat and sip my cappuccino till it was finished and then booyah!  there arrived my meal.  perfection.  damn aussies.  they have the sun, the surf and now impeccable timing. what next?

and the chatter.. um.. well.. it flowed just as smoothly as the aussie service.  maybe because the restaurant itself is this clever inside/outside type set up with a roof but with open walls overlooking the very posh area of robertson quay.  lovely to just sit and people watch.  so gossip.. well...claire is moving to dubai. what?  she just got here. yep.. and she's pregnant again.. with girl number two. lizzie is over the moon with a german businessman we met (she dragged home) at an internations event (our first.. sadly not our last).  i was bemoaning the very gorgeous eygptian man i met (but didn't drag home) at the same said internations event who was sporadically texting me.. and i was trying my best to play coy wishing he was even as slightly as interested and head over heels in love with me as graham... and then.. there is kathy who just got propositioned to take on a HOD position at a very posh school in Singapore for 3 times her now very VERY adequate salary..... apparently education is big business in singapore.

so boomerang.  awesome.  awesome. awe.some.  and to add to its already awesome status, the bill arrived. what?  reasonable.  i walked out of my new favourite place in singapore full, refreshed and relaxed with my wallet only $25.00 lighter.  and so like a true boomerang (which coincidentally  i actually own having bought one and been taught how to correctly throw it in maroubra (near sydney) by a genuine aboriginal boomerang craftsman.  yup. no biggie) i will definitely return.  4.5 stars.  seriously, in singapore i am not sure it can get better.... but a girl can still hope.

Boomerang Bar and Bistro
Robertson Quay at the Quayside 60 Robertson Quay
Tel: 6738 1077