tiong bahru bakery... tiong wasted..

so.. i have heard about this tiong bahru bakery for ages.. the "best bakery in singapore" is what my time out magazine told me. it was also voted the" best almond croissant in singapore".  which.. if you know me at all.. are the magic words.. i loves me an almond croissant. (yes. i know they are not vegan.  but we all cheat sometimes.  well,  i do)  they were my anchor, my rock and my rebellion when i lived in hong kong.  every morning i would have to trudge from the lovely cosmopolitan section of soho over to the wilds of kowloon, choi wan station. which would take about an hour.  so every morning, id stop at my lovely pret manger and grab a lovely freshly baked almond croissant and a green tea.. and yes...break all the rules possible and sit and eat it on the hour long mtr (not mrt) ride. ahhh...never fined.. but attracted lots of dirty looks.. so worth it..

so.. tiong bahru.. is coincidentally where my yoga studio is.  the absolute best studio i have found in singapore. i started at hom yoga.. but me and singaporean teachers don't really mesh.. something about their defiant blinding absolutism... basically they were fackin rude and yelled at you if you didn't follow their specific examples.  i am not singaporean.. and have a rather independent mind of my own.. so i need... well i need a nice teacher.  i also tried bikram.. but that carpet crap on the floor.. some indoor/outdoor thing.. is just, in my opinion.. gross.  imagine the amount of sweat that gets dripped on that every day.. ugh.... so its absolute yoga for me.. lovely hardwood floors.. two clean towels.. large showers.. lovely international teachers... ahhh...

after a particularly long 90 minute hot yoga class, i decided to use my trusty iphone map and find this damn famous bakery.  i walked down from tiong bahru mrt (not mtr). it actually took about 20 mins.  i was surprised.. and tired and thirsty.  its in this tiny tiong bahru village old fashioned singaporean street place... with lots of hawker stands and old fashioned chinese markets.. not really the upscale area i was led to believe of the 'best in singapore'.  i finally found it.. and it is quite lovely.. and damn busy.  every seat in the place (small place) was taken.  i was thinking i'd sit and have a cup of tea or cappuccino and try the croissant.. but no. not today.  i was the only 'ang mo' (white person) in sight.  and everyone was sat around in large groups talking really loudly together. see.. there is a bit of a culture gap in the idea of cafe.  i think for singapore.. it means something more like restaurant.. where people go to meet friends and talk loudly.  for me.. it usually means a nice quiet place to sip tea, read, chat with a friend or two.. and just find a moment of peace.

there was a great selection of bread and baked goods, cupcakes, tarts.. and croissants.  huge croissants. i ordered one almond. it was the size of 3 regular ones and heavy!  huh.  it had a great crunchy edge to it... you know when you cook sugar and it crystallizes creating like a candy apple edge?  yeah.. that was on the bottom.  but damn! was it doughy!  so heavy. good yes.. but huh.  i think there is a disconnect between our cultures. i know this is supposed to be a french pastry type bakery.. but no french baker i know would ever sell something so.. doughy.... croissants are supposed to be light, airy, crispy and soft and melt in your mouth.  although this was good..don't get me wrong.. i didn't have to eat for the next two days (didn't have to...... doesn't mean i didn't) but i was soo full from just one croissant.. i almost didn't finish it.. huh what?

so.. huh.. apparently they are opening a new branch in raffles place (city hall mrt).. so cool?  or not...well.. in my opinion ..let's see... shit seating... shit walking for 20 minutes to find the damn place.. shit heaviness... too heavy it made me feel guilty for eating it all.. which is shit... especially after an awesome yoga class... so huh. but sweet and crunchy apple candy bottom.. nice.. and damn famous.....well let's just say, once is enough.  i don't know?  try one yourself.. maybe i'm just an elitist snob... wait.. i am... mwah..... deux etoiles..peut-etre?... je ne sais pas...chacon son gout....

Tiong Bahru Bakery
56 Eng Hoon St
Tel: 6220 3430

gastronomia... fack yeah.

i haven't been here for brunch yet.  but does it matter?  you need to get your ass in here. stat.

it is an italian/french deli type place that serves ready made food.  like freshly made pizza. and freshly made pasta.  and grilled eggplant and zucchini strips.  and croissants. and french loaves. and pasta dishes.  which all look fantastic.  and desserts to die for.  especially ESPECIALLY my two favourite things in all of the world... and now singapore.  lemon chocolate curd and toffee shortbread.  so i have a sweet tooth.  and a greasy food tooth. and a fack'n good food tooth.

my nanny (that is.. for you singaporeans... my grandmother, my father's mother, not a woman my parents hired from the philippines to do our laundry and live under our dinning room table) used to make it for dessert.  not the full lemon meringue pie.  just the lemon filling mixed with the meringue topping.  yummm....  so tart. and good. and creamy. and this place, this gastronomia genius of a place has added chocolate mouse and a chocolate gauche top.  what?  i gives a fack if its vegan.  its orgasmic. i just love it. and its packaged in single serving (well probably more like a double serving for a romantic shared dessert) and sometimes i actually can halve it and save the other half for later. yes, that has happened never.

the second favourite is toffee shortbread.. which is this delightful breadcrumb crust with soft toffee covered in a layer of chocolate.  and it is single serving about 4 bites of crazy sinful sweet heaven.  to be honest the rest of the food looks awesome, and lizzie said the scones are lovely, but i haven't tried anything else. i only have eyes for my two loves.

so.. for this lovely.... 4.5 stars.  (and that's just based on the two items. there is really no where to sit. and its kinda expensive, the lemon curd goes for about $8.50. someday i may try the other options... god knows what else could be better.  is that even possible?)  there are many locations around singapore.  i usually head to the one in holland village (across the street in bee gardens) or the one.. yes... just around the corner from my school.. like a 10 minute walk.. how did the universe plan that so well?!?.... in serangoon circle.

Gastronomia De Paulo Group
Holland Village (other locations)  43 Jalan Merah Saga
Tel: 6475 1323